Yesterday evening I finally received notice from UNL about my re-enrollment. In short, their answer was that I had not showed enough progress to be readmitted. The decision was not based on any direct or recent evidence as I can tell, because they have refused several times to interview me or make contact with either my therapist or psychiatrist. All they have is the rudimentary information they requested (in full, as soon as they requested it) and the letters from the professionals I’m working with, which as far as I can tell is all they have used in this decision.

Based on the tenor and content of the letters I have received, I have come to the rather paranoid conclusion that UNL is absolutely refusing to consider my case. I now believe they will find any excuse to reject my request for readmission even if Christ Almighty tap dances a recommendation letter in Morse Code.

Can I blame them for being cautious? No, I can’t. They have the safety of thousands of undergraduates to think about and my record is far from clean. However, I can see no reason why I would not be given fair consideration except that they have already made their decision. That kind of bias is not representative of what I would consider the spirit of UNL, a school I am still proud to have been a part of.

I would be satisfied with the decision if I were sure it had been reached after a reasonable amount of serious deliberation based on evidence. However, because the process was unclear, ambiguous, and as far as I can tell, biased, I am pursuing legal counsel. I am going to make an effort to see if there is anything I can do about this situation while I still have a chance. I suspect that I’m out of luck, but who knows. If there is any possibility of me returning to UNL soon, I will try to do so. If not, I will never attempt to re-enroll at UNL again.

Because my experience at UNL has been largely positive, I would still be proud to graduate. Because of my more recent experience, I would not be ashamed if I failed to graduate at UNL or any other school.

From here, I plan on further discussing the situation with my lawyer to see if anything can be done. If not, I will look for jobs in Lincoln, because I would still much rather live there than anywhere else right now. Failing that, I will remain in Leavenworth with my family, although that is a distant third option.

I hope I can finish my degree. I hope I can find a job. I hope I can live with my brother and friends instead of still being stuck here. I hope I can move on. I hope. I hope. I hope.