Author Archives: Steven x Davis

Quiz

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This quiz is guaranteed to produce completely meaningless results based on completely unrelated choices. I have planned it very carefully, so take it seriously.

Choose a letter:
1. A
2. J
3. M

Choose a prime number:
1. 113
2. 19
3. 71

Choose a legendary bird Pokemon:
1. Moltres
2. Zapdos
3. Articuno

Choose a symbol:
1. #
2. &
3. %

Choose a Disney pseudoprincess:
1. Nala
2. Maid Marian
3. Tinkerbell

Choose a chess piece:
1. Bishop
2. Rook
3. King

Choose a fear:
1. Arachnophobia
2. Aquaphobia
3. Aerophobia

Choose an actress:
1. Elisabeth Shue
2. Eddie Murphy in drag
3. Minnie Driver

Choose an addictive substance:
1. Nicotine
2. Methamphetamine
3. Heroin

Choose a female body type:
1. Pear-shaped
2. Apple-shaped
3. Tangerine-shaped

Choose a secretion:
1. Sebum
2. Smegma
3. Earwax

Choose a saga:
1. Gosta Berlings
2. St. Olaf
3. Gutasaga

Choose a console:
1. Playstation 3
2. Xbox 360
3. Sega Dreamcast

Choose a surname:
1. Huxtable
2. Poseidon
3. Raper

Choose a question word:
1. How
2. Which
3. When

Choose a process:
1. Urination
2. Defecation
3. Vomiting

Choose a color:
1. White
2. Purple
3. Orange

Choose a disc format:
1. Blu-ray
2. DVD
3. Laserdisc

Choose an abbreviation:
1. TNT
2. TNA
3. TWA

Choose a candy bar:
1. Butterfinger
2. Caramello
3. Reese’s Cups

Now, add up the number of 1, 2, and 3 answers you had, and whichever is highest is you. If there’s a tie, just choose one. You don’t need my permission.

One (1)
Like most ones, you are sassy and sophisticated. You have a strange sexual perversion you constantly need to satisfy. If you are in a relationship, it won’t work out. Try something new tomorrow, in case you’re about to lose your job or flunk out. The word that best describes you is mustang.

Two (2)
Like most twos, you are organized and spontaneous. You have a drive to complete things, but usually fuck them up anyway. If you are in a relationship, it might work out. Try sneezing with your eyes open, because it’s probably impossible. The word that best describes you is mustache.

Three (3)
Like most threes, you are engaging and tiresome. Your chief hobby is a waste of time; you’d do best to start over with something else. If you are in a relationship, it will work out. Try watching a foreign movie with no subtitles, just to see if you can follow the plot. The word that best describes you is mustard.

True Tales of Human Interest

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The following stories from my life are entirely true. Whether or not they are interesting is left to the reader.

…

I was going to run away with a girl once. It was elementary school, and we had decided after much discussion that we should run away. I believe we got together a few peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and headed into the wilderness. Unfortunately, before we could make it too far, her extremely attentive mother told us to come back. “There are snakes out there,” she said. We had no choice but to return and play Super Mario World. I’m not sure what we intended to do, but I’m fairly sure we didn’t accomplish it. We didn’t talk much afterwards, and though I saw her around from time to time, we never spoke again.

…

During my second-grade class, I had to leave the room every day to do math problems in the hallway with a first-grade student. I think it was supposed to better us, but I don’t remember enjoying it or learning anything. One day in November, we had a substitute teacher, and the class project for the afternoon was making turkeys out of coffee filters. Instead of doing that, I was expected to return to the hallway for math problems. I went out and started work, but quickly changed my mind and returned to make a turkey, abandoning the first grader in the hallway.

When my regular teacher returned, she found out what I had done and forced me to apologize during recess. It was extremely awkward, but I followed the instructions on our social skills poster (“How to Apologize”) and got through it. Being intelligent was one of my biggest problems at that age.

…

While I was in elementary school, I had several friends in my age group, but when I skipped 3rd grade, I had to leave them behind. Oddly enough, my first-grade math buddy skipped a grade too, but still ended up behind me with the rest. I had to make friends from scratch in my new grade, but still did stuff with the others outside of school. We would have sleepovers and all loved pokemon (first generation only, thank you very much).

In middle school, my friend Joseph, who was fond of bicycles and dirty jokes, would walk home with me. Actually, I would walk and he would ride his bike crookedly to stay at my pace. We talked about a lot of things, including PG-13 movies and video games of all kinds. I don’t remember being a very good friend. I remember being short-tempered and impatient, although I was still pretty funny at times. For all my scholastic skills, I still had no emotional maturity. I don’t know if I’ve improved since then or not.

One week, I suggested an impromptu sleepover at my house, but it was the night his family went on a bike ride together. As they were driving from the VA Cemetary to Dairy Queen, Joseph took the lead and was hit by a truck. He was taken to the nearby hospital and died there overnight. I didn’t find out until the next morning, when my family woke me and told me that either Joseph of his brother had been hit and killed. They weren’t quite sure which, but I sincerely hoped it was his brother. I went upstairs to get dressed, and my own brother met me in the hall. “I heard your friend Joseph died,” he said. “How did you know?” I said, and collapsed in his arms, crying.

…

I spent one year at East Middle School, the dilapidated former high school in Leavenworth. They were building a new middle school to be used the next year, and everyone was thrilled to be moving on. The building was in terrible shape; it had asbestos, broken ceilings and walls, and no air conditioning. I did take several classes there, including home economics, band, choir, and the class for gifted students. I learned to bake stuff, a bit about nutrients and sewing, to play the trombone, and how to build a roller coaster out of wire. I sang tenor then, and later on I even went to a statewide choir competition with 5 other students (“Thanks for the great sex…tet!” the instructor told us).

My biggest conflict was with the math teacher, who was always frustrated that I never showed my work. I was good at math, but I was supposed to be showing steps I didn’t know I had to do. The problem was all in my head. On one particularly chaotic day, everyone was just goofing off like true middle schoolers. For some reason, there was a pair of girl’s underwear on the floor, and I took them to the instructor and said “Mr. ___, you dropped your panties.” He sent me to the office.

I bragged about the experience to my peers, who were all quite impressed. The teacher is now an administator at the new middle school, and they are finally demolishing the old one. I also learned to be less of a bratty snot. Sort of.

…

Like most freshmen, I had a hard time adjusting to high school. I had taken 2 high school classes as an 8th grader (which is where I was on 9/11, in case you’re keeping track), but there is a big difference between being a part-time and full-time high schooler. One key change was lunch. Instead of going through a typical slop line, high school students could spend their lunch money on just about anything. We had vending machines, pizza, fries on Friday, bread and cheese (actually quite good and popular), snack cakes, fruit snacks, and the usual sandwiches and chips. Oh, and there was a slop line, too.

When I started as a freshmen I got 10 dollars a week for lunch. With my daily 2 dollars, I would eat (look away, Mom) a Milky Way candy bar, an Otis Spunkmeyer Chocolate Chocolate Chip muffin, and a can of Barq’s Red Cream Soda. Later on, I would get bread and cheese, and when I was a senior I usually got a turkey sandwich with chips and juice. It’s still hard for me to believe I dodged a diabetic coma that first year, though.

I also had to take freshman gym and health. At the very end of the year, thrilled to be finished with an idiotic health class, I wrote “Righteous!” on the cover of my health textbook without thinking. When I was due to turn it in, the coach was greatly annoyed to see my remark, and claimed that they wouldn’t be able to use that book again (which was bullshit). I lied blatantly to avoid paying for the book, claiming it was already there. The next year, that teacher went to another school. I have a feeling the textbook was used long after he left.

…

So there you go. A few mildly interesting stories from my scholastic career. Happy Labor Day.

Some Thoughts on Sin

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I am taking 2 Catholic theology classes this semester, so I’m forced to approach this question again.

Is the desire to sin innate?
If it hinges on “fallen humanity,” then where did it come from?

Look at the first sin.

The desire was natural. The fruit looked tasty and sweet.
Eve had been warned: if you eat the fruit, you will die.
She did not understand evil. She did not understand death.
Did God tell her the truth? Did she die because she at the fruit? Not immediately.
If death was impossible before the fall, how would she know what it was?

(A separate question: Is it possible to love if you don’t understand what you’re doing? In other words, is it possible to understand love without knowing the alternative? If not, were Adam and Eve truly devoted to God? Did the knowledge of good and evil make them capable of agapic love?)

Sin is a natural desire corrupted. According to tradition, the best way to satisfy all human desires is through God. So sin comes from a flawed attempt to meet natural desires. Knowledge would make it clear that sin is pointless, but we do not have that.

Michael J. Himes says repeatedly that it is good to be created. “I’m not God, and that’s a good thing.” Does God understand what it is to be created? Not from experience, according to tradition. God and created things are separate. So how are we supposed to know it’s good to be human (if it actually is)? We can’t really take God’s word for it.

I think Christian morality is a bit like a sober person giving advice to an alcoholic. “If drinking is such a problem, don’t do it.” “Why drink if it costs you so much money and time?” “Just have one drink and stop.” All of our moral guidance in the Bible comes from God (or Paul. Heh.), who is comfortable making several pronouncements. For instance, he mentions many ways that humans make themselves disgusting to him. Later, he was Jesus and didn’t sin, but we cannot give the messiah too much credit. First of all, he knew the best way to live was without sin. If he had the desire, he could reason through it. If he didn’t have it, there was no problem.

If Jesus truly understood the concept of infinity (and God), then he never experienced the most universal human crisis: doubt. He was a man (?) who never needed to ask if God existed. I’m told Christ’s sacrifice was the crucible of salvation. How can I respect the Lord for passing a test when he knew all the answers? (Then again, perhaps his power did forsake him in the end.)

As I see it, if being human is a good thing, humans certainly don’t know it. If being human is a bad thing, God doesn’t know it. We are told that Jesus is supposed to bridge the gap, but he was not human. He did not have the human desire to sin. If that is not innate, then he didn’t have the ignorance that causes it.

Either way, sinlessness is a bit tricky. I think people should accept that their desire to sin is natural, not from Satan, not to test them, but because they are trying to fulfill a natural need. We always excuse ourselves later, and that’s a shame, because there isn’t any reason to make excuses.

As far as I’m concerned, sin, as defined by God, is just an option, and “righteousness” is another. There is no difference, because morality is not God-given, it comes from human experience. Period.

A Poem

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Our Life After Life

We’ll stoke the flames and curse our names,

But from time to time we’ll admit

With voices clear that our faith was sincere

And religion still isn’t worth shit.

 

We’ll rue our lives from 9 to 5,

Then head home and make love immoral.

If love is taboo then I guess we’ll have to

Fuck or have sex or just oral.

 

We’ll drink and curse, or do much worse,

At this point there’s nothing to lose.

It might seem odd, but soldiers for God

Have done worse than swearing and booze.

 

We’ll do our best despite failing the test,

And our future together is bright.

It would break my heart if they tore us apart,

But otherwise, things are alright.

 

In Heaven, they say, that day after day

Is supposed to be limitless bliss,

But if I were there and you were down here,

Then I would trade it for this.

A Candid Letter to a Nameless Individual

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Mark and I were talking today about unshakable faith in the context of religious doubt and baseless arguments. Naturally, you were the first person who came to mind. I thought briefly about the past and came to a few conclusions.

I met you through your former boyfriend. I was never a huge fan of his, but we were casual acquaintances. Between your stories about the relationship and his frenzied, uncontrolled approach to sparring in Taekwondo, it was clear that he was a lot more fucked up than he appeared to be. Yet you decided that the relationship was more important than your religion. Thereafter, you had to decide between the two each month. I suggested you flip a coin and commit, but you didn’t.

I was there. I talked with you. I supported you as much as I could. I got sick of hearing about it. In fact, I intended to write a poem about your recurrent emotional breakdowns (break-ups?). Honestly, I couldn’t get past the first and last lines: “How many times has it ended this way? … and finding the world’s not the bright place you think it is.” My patience for poetry lasted about as long as my patience for your perennial discontent. Each time, it seemed your conclusion was the same: get closer to Jesus.

I have to be honest, though. You were a friend then and you would still be a friend now. The reason you aren’t has something to do with you. I’m sure of it. Apparently I wasn’t grateful enough for your efforts to help me after my suicide attempt. It seems that on those days, it was difficult to be my friend. I can’t imagine what that is like.

It turns out, friendship is not so simple. Some days, it’s downright difficult to be friends with someone. Never mind that it’s easy on other days, those aren’t the problem. Anyway, the word for people like you is “sunny day friends.” See, those beatiful, sunny days where I was around were easy, but it turns out that a suicide attempt is a fairly long storm. As I predicted, the world’s not the bright place you think it is. Or thought it was. I even understand you might have finally flipped a coin and come up tails. Or heads, whichever is the opposite of Christian.

So we don’t talk. We don’t chat online. You don’t interact with me. What’s the point of this letter? I just wanted to say it, because I’ve been thinking about it. After all, I really doubt you’ve read this. If you did, congratulations. Now go and cry about it.

Love from Leavenworth,
-Steven Motherfucking Davis.

I Am Sick of the Venture Bros.

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My brother introduced me to the show. He had the first two seasons on DVD, because of some deal he got. We watched them together, although he’d already seen the whole series. Anyway, it was hilarious. I loved the weird humor, the cultural references, the bleak attitude, and later, the complexity. I mean, the first season was pretty straightforward, but it got more interesting as time went on. I kept watching, and most of the episodes were pretty good.

So I watched the third season. I saw it on the adult swim website; it was the first show I really watched online. Even early on, the show wasn’t without its flaws. I mean, the creators voiced nearly all of the characters, so most of them sounded like those two. They had to replace Stephen Colbert, because he got too famous. His replacement sounded nothing like him. As far as voices go, several characters are hard to understand, and more difficult voices showed up as time went on.

Some episodes sucked, even in the earlier seasons. I don’t judge a series by individual episodes, but the ratio of suck to decent increased dramatically later on.

Everything that happens in later episodes seems to have the sole purpose of undoing whatever happened earlier on. What’s the point of having continuity if they’re just going to reverse everything? You could watch the new season without knowledge of the earlier ones, because knowing those things doesn’t help. The super-secret ORB turned out to be broken. It didn’t do anything. Hunter’s sex change operation was reversed. Now, Molotov is dead. The Ventures’ bodyguard is Brock or Hatred depending on the week.

My brother says that I should just ignore the continuity and focus on the plot and humor of the individual episodes. I don’t see anything wrong with that, but the real problem is that none of the new episodes are funny. In the first two seasons, there were clever plots and interesting ideas, with humor similar to the other good comedy series on adult swim. The third season was okay. Some episodes were funny, some failed. But the fourth season is all crap. I don’t think I’ve been amused by any of them. Again, my brother says that I just don’t appreciate the show properly. Other people, he suggests, are out there laughing while I just shrug.

Speaking of things I hate, the character Shore Leave is high on the list. An unnecessary flaming gay character, he is a horrible stereotype, and still not funny. The other characters are not interesting anymore. The Monarch is so useless that even when they joked about it in the season finale, it wasn’t ironic. It was 100 percent accurate. It’s at the point where all of the “unsolved” problems are tired and irrelevant. There’s no reason to care why the Monarch hates Dr. Venture. If they’re going for a “there is no reason” angle, even that is exhausted.

The fourth season revealed nothing, did not advance the plot, was not funny, and took too long doing it. If you’re not going to have a continuous plot, then be funny. If you can’t even manage that, get the fuck off the air.

After Today

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I was in a good mood for a while today. After tomorrow, I’ll have a wonderful long weekend. I intend to read, sleep, and watch films. In the meantime, I have to do some History of Math homework (I didn’t get the assignment yet, even though it’s due tomorrow) and I have to mow grandpa’s lawn. I am not thrilled. If I never mow another lawn, it would be too soon. I just hope it’s not going to be too wet, because if it is, the mower will clog like a bitch. A cloggy bitch.

I had to eat at Arby’s for dinner; they were raising funds for cancer. I always avoid their roast beef, because it comes in a tube. Or powder. Something. Either way, it’s disgusting, diarrhea-ridden “beef.” I had some chicken sandwich without the bread, because it was gross. I did get a fantastic chocolate turnover. I’ve had one there before and it was awesome. Chocolate turnover. Yeah.

My classes today were pretty short, because of tests. In one, it was a midterm I had to take. In another, it was a retest I didn’t have to take. The other class went long because one student’s presentation kept going and going. Math people don’t know how to condense reports and spare their audience. Mine was weird, because it was geometry and I didn’t have any tools, but I think I got the point across. I can now trisect an angle in 3 different ways. If I need to, as I so often do.

I watched a really good movie called Interstate 60 this afternoon on Netflix Instant on my brother’s PS3, using his convenient streaming disc. Hell yes. It also helped to cheer me up. I can’t remember why I put it on my queue in the first place, but I’m glad I did. I am awesome.

Anyway, my brief spate of mellow cheer was pretty cool. I suspect it has a lot to do with caffeine, which I imbibed today in great amounts. Hoo-ah. Anyway, it was one of those rare times when I feel like my future exists and won’t suck too much. I look forward to relaxing some this weekend. I think I will be able to, although I also assume other stuff is going to make my time off crappy. We’ll see.

Whenever I can breathe, it is fleeting at best. Now I have stuff to do that is weighing on me. I’ll be seeing my trainer tomorrow and I’ll have to talk some about goals or whatnot. I need to do a better job with my food intake, as I am fat. Now that I wrote that, I’m actually going to go get some mint chocolate chip ice cream, even though it’s crappy all-natural Breyer’s bullshit. Mint chip should be awesome and bright green. This isn’t. I can’t believe there’s no “all-natural” bright green dye. Can’t they just use chlorophyll?

Anyway, exercise is pretty much a waste, as I have no reason to be in good shape. Although I must have done something right, because the rest of my family has some kind of infection. Mark’s is bronchitis. I guess that’s what the parents have as well. Anyway, my piano recital is a week from today, and I still have a few errors. I’m at the “overpracticed” part of the recital cycle, because I’m now screwing up things I had down before. My conscious mind thinks it’s better than the subconscious. Not so. Anyway, I keep practicing a bunch of songs, in part because there’s another recital in a month. Dunno what I’m playing then, but it will probably be my Bach piece, if I can get that right.

I just want some time off. I can’t help but think it’s going to get fucked up some how. Cross your fingers for me.

Contrary Evidence: A Brief on Belief

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I want to describe faith as I see it. I’m sure many people will disagree with me, and that’s fine. Just try to understand my perspective before you dismiss it completely.

Let’s start at the beginning. What does it mean to believe something? I am going to reduce that complicated concept to a fairly simple system by taking out most of the subtlety. Bear with me.

First, let’s talk about claims. A claim is a statement that can be determined in some fashion to be true, false, or in some cases, unknown.

A true statement is one that is true in all cases. In other words, it doesn’t vary based on changing things. An asinine example would be “1 equals 1.” True statements are based on proofs (arguments) composed of other true statements. Basically, you start from axioms, simple statements that are just accepted as true, and work your way to more complex truths from there.

False statements are those that are not true in all cases. They may be true most of the time, but if there are exceptions, we say they are false. They may not ever be true. In the strictest sense, if we can’t prove a statement from arguments based on axioms, we say it is false. However, in the interest of open mindedness, statements that haven’t been proven to be true or false can be said to have unknown truth value.

If you didn’t get that or you don’t care, let me sum it up here: a claim is true or false. (It may also be unknown.) In essence, claims have truth value that is objective.

Beliefs, however, are subjective. Basically, for a given claim, your belief is the truth value you assign that claim, based on your perspective (knowledge, emotions, gut feelings, anything). I have to be very clear here: beliefs are based on your understanding.

Because people’s beliefs can and often do differ from the objective truth value of a claim, they don’t necessarily agree on what the objective truth value is. Getting past that is difficult and sometimes impossible.

Those are the basics. Now let’s explore.

What does it mean to believe something? This time, I don’t mean by definition, I mean in the real world. Beliefs should determine your decisions, your actions, and in many ways, your life. For practical purposes, I will call decisions and actions consistent with one’s beliefs “virtue” and decisions and actions against one’s beliefs “sin.”

Let’s look at some of the subtleties. First of all, some people say what you believe determines what happens to your immortal soul. That doesn’t make any sense. Here’s why: you don’t choose what you believe. If you don’t believe that, I’ll make an effort to change your mind.

Pick a simple belief you have, or even a complex one if you like. Say, “the sky is black at night.” Now, choose to believe otherwise. If you can, congratulations, you’ve proven me wrong. But be honest. Do you really, sincerely believe it isn’t true? Why not? If it’s because of another belief, no problem! Choose to not believe it! If that doesn’t solve the problem, I don’t know what to tell you.

If choice can’t change your beliefs, then what can? Evidence. Evidence is anything in the world that can change your beliefs. It takes a lot of forms: events, other people, thoughts, art. Sometimes it can come out of nowhere. There are two kinds of evidence: corroborating and contrary. Corroborating evidence is evidence that is consistent with your beliefs. Going outside at night and seeing a pitch black sky would be an example. Contrary evidence is evidence that is not consistent with your beliefs. For instance, going outside and seeing a white and purple striped pattern in the sky.

Anyway, where does all of that leave free will? I say that you always have a choice in a given situation: act virtuously or sin. In other words, follow your own rules or “act up.” I don’t know what to say about that, though. Does choosing to sin mean you are weak? Do virtuous choices improve you somehow? I don’t know.

I think it’s more important to look at evidence. Encountering contrary evidence is a very difficult situation. The basic decision is to change your belief or forget about the evidence. If you see an orange sky at midnight, you can always just go to bed. If you never see it again, the abundance of corroborating evidence might make up for it. Either way, what survives is doubt. If it sticks with you, you might have to change your belief. If the sky isn’t always black at night, why not? You can explore the reasons and all of the possibilities.

How about the opposite situation? Say you have a belief, yet you never see any corroborating evidence. What do you do? Should you continue to act as if that belief is true, or act otherwise, basically changing your mind? How do you keep a belief when you desperately want to hold on, yet can’t seem to find any support? How long can you continue to ignore contrary evidence, really?

Let me conclude by just saying that beliefs are not excuses. As simple as it would be, writing off a decision as okay because it was consistent with your beliefs is unacceptable. Doubt is a great burden, but it can also be the key to finding what is true. If you make a decision without any doubt, then it’s probably okay. But I believe that when you really make a choice or take an action with negative consequences, then your doubt will have been there. If not, I don’t know what to say.

A Few of the Things I Hate

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The phrase “meat on them bones.”
Diet Dr. Hy-Vee.
Stories where the main character is an obvious author surrogate.
Warm melted ice cream.
Mindless repetition.
People who suck at encouragement, yet try anyway.
The texture of cat tongues.
Wedding-flavored cakes.
Mindless repetition.
Pack rats (compulsive hoarders).
Programs that start up with your computer for no reason.
The taste of alcohol.
Diarrhea.
Most network tv shows, especially sitcoms.
Mindless repetition.
Ground beef.
Gambling, except for $2 lottery tickets.
Justin Bieber’s facial expression.
Body dysmorphia.
Mowing lawns.
Being forced into doing things.
Mindless repetition.
My need to exercise.
People who refuse to be honest, direct, or upfront.
Plantar warts.
Bad drivers.
Wyandotte County.
People from Johnson County…usually.
Mindless repetition.
People who constantly tell the same few stories.
Gender stereotypes and expectations.
People who change completely when they start a romantic relationship.
Flakiness.

Public Speaking – Final Speech

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Today I want to speak to you about hope…unfortunately, I won’t be able to. I had a speech planned out, plotted out, practically perfect, but with no outline and no note cards.

It was simple. I was going to talk about the meaning of failure and the meaning of the word “play,” and then tie the two together. But procrastination kicked in. I know I’ve spoken about that before, but yesterday it wasn’t quite that simple. It was depression.

I left class yesterday thinking about what I was going to say. I kept putting off my work. I distracted myself, I tried to sleep, tried to play video games, ate with my family, played card games, and so on. Yesterday evening I baked six dozen cookies.

See, I wanted to finish this class with a positive message. My goal was to say that no matter what the outcome is, of this class or anything, you could be proud of what you learned and what you accomplished. I wanted to take the truism “it doesn’t matter if you win or lose; it’s how you play the game” and make it mean something.

Well, why didn’t I do it? I didn’t feel it. I didn’t believe it. I knew I couldn’t share a message I didn’t feel. I was in no mood to encourage others, much less myself. Instead, I moped, I slumped around, and I kept thinking about the very things I wanted to forget completely: negative thoughts, dark thoughts, and bad events from the past.

That’s just what depression is. It’s not just sadness; it isn’t a bad mood. It’s a battle within your soul. It’s dark and it’s unpleasant. You want to cut out your own heart just to stop feeling. A psychologist once told me that he was so depressed he had to decide between getting up to urinate and just going in his bed. If you’ve ever felt that way before, I’m sorry. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

I’m not here to educate you about depression because there isn’t enough time. I want you to know what to do if it ever happens to you or someone you love. The easy advice is still the worst. People may say things like “just cheer up” or “do something you like to do.” In other words, they want you to magically change the way you feel. If people give you that advice, it’s a sure sign they don’t know what they’re talking about.

It’s easier to say “just say no” than it is to just say no. In the same way, it’s much easier to say “keep trying” than it is to keep trying. Depression is not a one-time thing, it is a lifelong struggle. Every day can bring a depressive episode or a terrible event, no matter how well you may have been doing.

What do you really do when you don’t want to wake up in the morning? You don’t just bake cookies, you talk about it. Just like the greenhouse effect, if those thoughts keep bouncing around in your skull, things will only get worse. Get it out. I can’t stress that enough. Eventually, the solitude inside your own mind becomes a prison, a trap you can’t escape from. Get out while you still can.

Etgar Keret put it perfectly: “you never know what goes on inside people’s heads.” Even so, you have to do your best. If you establish close communication with your friends and family members, you won’t have to guess what they’re thinking or feeling, you can ask. Be the person that others can go to, and I assure you you’ll have someone to go to when the time comes.

I wanted to talk about hope, but I can’t. I’m just not feeling it right now. But I can tell you that I have felt it before and I will again. Depression truly is a nightmare, but I promise you can wake up from it. Talk about it now and you’ll be ready if you ever start to fall into that pit. The rest of us will help pull you out.