Regret

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I’ve been thinking today mostly about the concept of regret, for some reason. I realized that for me, regret is not about past actions. I actually am somewhat at ease with my past, and am reasonably certain that it will lead to a decent future as well. For me, regret is a little like worry that’s too stupid to die. I regret things that happened three days ago, and feel perfectly fine about similar things that may have happened 18 months ago.

Like right now, for instance. I’m sitting here at the end of the weekend, and I have accomplished absolutely nothing. Not that I had anything to do anyway, of course. But I basically sat around and watched videos online and on DVD for two straight days, sniffling and coughing (I’m a bit sick. On a related note, NyQuil gives you terrific dreams). It’s not that I particularly think that’s bad, but I wish I had something better to do with my free time. I spend so much of it just doing nothing, I’m not even sure I’d know what to do if I actually accomplished something.

The only time I left campus this weekend was just now, when I went to McDonald’s for two McRibs. They were pretty good, but the whole experience was kind of depressing. For one thing, I had Fast Food Nation facts and stories going through my head the whole time, and I was also sort of “drafting” my FFN form of the visit in my head. In fact, here’s a vague recollection, for your enjoyment:

“On the way in, I followed a Hispanic woman and her obese child, both of whom had trouble understanding the cashier taking their order. After the son got his drink the first time, he spilled it all over the counter and floor, and tried to get me to tell the cashier, who had already noticed and took care of it shortly afterwards. I had to avoid the spill as I got my own drink and napkins. As I ate my McRibs alone in the corner, a feeling of bleakness sank over me, and I couldn’t help but be a bit depressed. Things of note: I asked for no pickles on my sandwiches, but got no onions instead; a sign on a temple across the street which reads ‘Jesus Only,’ a phrase that only confuses me more every time I see it; and a McDonald’s worker taking a nap while sitting in a booth in another corner. When he’s awake, he often looks either at me or something behind me. I can’t tell which.”

et cetera. I can’t help but wonder what else I could be doing with my time, and why on earth I haven’t tried to do it yet. And so, I regret my present, but in a few scant months, I won’t mind anymore.

Blood.

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I tried to donate blood today, and it went exactly as well as the last two times.

Last year, in the grand month of November, I was compelled (by guilt, I think) to donate blood even though I had missed the homecoming blood drive. I went to the Lincoln Community Blood Center on 13th Street. It was the first time I had ever donated blood, and I was nervous. Anyway, I got through all of the survey questions and pre-tests (Have you ever had Chagas disease? Do any of your family members have mad cow disease? Have you ever paid for sex? and so on. There’s also one thing where they put your blood in a solution to see if it’s dense enough to sink.). Anyway, I passed all of that, and I went over to a chair and got my blood drained. It went fairly well, and I was fine the next day and thought no more about it.

This year, in January or February, I returned to donate again (after the requisite 8 weeks) and to my surprise found that they hadn’t gotten the blood type from my previous donation for some reason. Annoyed by that, I was sort of dwelling on it as I was doing the pre-tests. For some reason, my heartbeat was too fast, at over 100 beats per minute. So I was deferred. Before I left, I asked what had happened to my previous donation. Apparently it had been destroyed in transition and instead of helping someone in need, it was presumably spilt in some white truck somewhere. Out of frustration, I called the next week and canceled my second appointment (you’re allowed to donate any time after a temporary deferral).

Because it had been nearly a year since the first time I had donated, I felt that I could forgive the system and went today to try again for homecoming. I was picky, though, and decided to donate to the American Red Cross instead of the Community Blood Bank. After I watched the US version of “The Office” in the waiting area (the UK version is much better), I went back to go through the pre-tests again, and again I found that my heart rate was much too fast (120 beats per second…my temperature was also 99.2 but apparently that doesn’t disqualify you) so I ended up deferred again with a preprinted letter in my hand. So tomorrow I’m making an appointment at the health center to diagnose this arrhythmia. News to follow, I suppose.

It just disappoints me sometimes, though. The time last year when I donated might be the only time I ever get to, if this is some chronic thing. And it just got destroyed and didn’t help anyone. So often the blood banks talk about how much they need blood and how it will help the theoretical sick and injured, but they somehow lost my sample. It’s only by the fluke that it was my first donation that I was even able to find out about it. Otherwise I’d have assumed I had helped someone.

Rather than treat my tissue with respect, they accidentally destroyed it. I’m not giving them much credit, but they don’t really deserve it. They ask people to make these donations in good faith, knowing that we genuinely want to help, but how many samples just get lost or destroyed? Why should that happen, even once?

Chickens vs. Whales

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So, I went to KFC for some delicious fried chicken for dinner tonight. I got the “2-piece thigh and leg” with biscuit and Dr Pepper. In the process of consuming the thigh portion of the meal, I discovered what I can only assume was a chicken spine attached by breading to the thigh. Explain to me how a chicken spine becomes attached to a chicken thigh. Disgusting.

I wish I could say that I waxed philosophical about the whole thing, imagining for instance that all of the signals that passed through this particular spine were probably pain, because of the way that chickens are treated by this particular corporation. Instead, I thought “ew” and promptly separated all of the vertebrae. I also wish I could say I didn’t finish the rest of the chicken, but I did. However, I will take a stand right now and stop eating KFC for as long as my fat ass can survive without it.

Which brings me to my next point. Humans have long proven incapable of managing the planet. It’s time for a more mature, capable species to take over. Whales. Whales need to rise up with their flippers of might and forcefully reclaim the planet. The time is now.

The Animation Show

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The Animation Show came to the Ross today, and I saw it not once, but twice. In the interest of informing my brother (and the rest of you), I shall do a brief film-by-film review:

The show is introduced by Bevis and Butthead in an appearance that can only be deemed gratuitous at best. Butthead points out that “buttcracks” will be shown in the feature, and they are. Woo.

Rabbit – The first film is about two nameless children (Dick and Jane -esque) who discover an idol inside a rabbit. It’s very odd, but it’s definitely in keeping with the general theme of this year’s show. I really have no opinion on it, as far as content goes.

City Paradise – WEIRD. This is about a Japanese girl who moves to London, and it is really freaking hard to understand. It’s kind of neat if you just try to move with the general ideas instead of trying to understand everything.

Everything will be ok – This is about Bill, a character from Hertzfeldt’s Temporary Anesthetics comic strip. Bill is slowly losing his mind, and this story kind of conveys his mundane/unfortunate life. It’s funny, but for the most part, it’s kind of sad. I really liked it, and would highly recommend it, despite the fact that it could be somewhat depressing. Definitely better than The Meaning of Life, which is also pretty good.

Collision – It’s just supposed to be pretty.

Nine – Here’s the crowd favorite. It’s about a ragdoll who’s trying to destroy his mortal enemy. It’s neat, 3D, pretty short, and cute. It definitely cool and serious, which is nice. The program this year was very serious.

No Room for Gerold – This is just a real-life type story about 4 animals who share a house. One of them is about to be kicked out. It’s very true to life, in my opinion. I like this one because it was funny and realistic. Gerold is one of the best characters in the whole program.

Guide Dog – A sequel to Guard Dog, this is all about the same dog trying to help blind people. Hilarious because the dog is so funny to watch. It doesn’t have a happy ending, but it’s not necessarily an unhappy ending, either.

Eaux Forte – This is about a smoker who is swept up in a tidal wave. I’m still not sure what I was supposed to get out of this, but it’s cool to watch.

vs. – This was the “bonus film” at the showing I attended. I think it should have been in the full program, because it was the funniest film. It’s about two islands, whose inhabitants are trying to claim a third island. The rest, as they say, is history.

Overtime – After a puppeteer dies, his creations attempt a “Weekend at Bernie’s” before coming to terms with the situation. Cute, although it could have been done a bit better.

Dreams and Desires – Funny to an extent. It’s not really my type of thing. Basically about a woman who’s filming a wedding and with the help of a dog, ruins the whole thing. This is the source of the buttcracks Butthead referred to.

Game Over – A video game fan’s animation, this is basically stop motion versions of famous arcade games. Naturally, the animator (player?) loses. Fitting final film.

So that was the program. I think the best were: Everything will be ok, vs., Nine, Guide Dog, No Room for Gerold and Overtime, in that order. Game Over could go in there, but it’s not really on the same level. It’s funny and awesome, but not in the same way.

This year had Don Hertzfeldt’s best (although the Trilogy is hilarious, I’d rather have serious), but besides that wasn’t quite as noteworthy as the first two. I think it was the strangest and most evocative, though. Hm.